I get it. getting your heart shattered into a million pieces fucking sucks. We all have to tip toe around your broken heart and make sure your every need – and craving – is catered to. That’s okay. We sign up for the job the moment we become friends (or in my case, the moment we build websites like ChiaraSays.com)… The fact you’re broken hearted isn’t what annoys me. It’s when you approach me asking for advice when in reality, you just want someone to listen.

There is nothing wrong with telling a friend you just need to vent. But when you end your story with, “What do you think?” expect to hear a response. You don’t have to take the advice given, but for god’s sake, ACKNOWLEDGE IT.

I can’t stress how many times I’ve said one thing and heard a response to something else. For example, I had a girl tell me about her shit ass boyfriend who cheated on her with a coworker and decided to spread rumors about her to get her to stop calling him. She sent me copies of emails from him, telling her she was a waste of life. She then asked me what she should do. I said, “Stop calling him. He’s consciously inflicting pain on you.. Why would you want him in your life?” You know what she said to me? She said, “But I love him, I want him to know how much I love him. I’ve always loved him. I’ve been so good to him.”

What the fuck?

I get it. Love fucks you six ways from Sunday. It also blinds you, and temporarily changes your primary language to ‘delusional.’ I get it. When you ask one thing, my response makes no sense. What I’m wondering is simple: Are you REALLY listening? Or do you just want to vent? Are you REALLY asking me how to end the pain or are you just trying to tell me how much pain you’re in?

Y0u’re not expected to act rationally. You’re not expected to have a coherent conversation in between sobs. But if all you want to do is vent and attack those who give you advice for ‘not knowing what your relationship was REALLY like’ then just say so.. That hour we spend counseling you is wasted if you mute us out on purpose.

I get it. You’re broken hearted and it feels like the world is ending. Sometimes you just need someone to listen. Other times, you need someone to spend 3 hours giving you advice. Do your friends a favor and don’t get to two confused.

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