Dating and Relationship Poison: Pride
I got an email (that I’ll respond to today, I promise) about pride, and it got me thinking. We’ve talked about what over-analyzing and presenting ultimatums can do to your relationship. Destruction. Now, let’s discuss a third poison lurking within reach: your pride. See, the problem with love (lust, obsession, passionate attraction.. whatever) is that it puts you in a vulnerable position. Vulnerability causes you to act because the moment you open yourself up to it, you’re opening the doors to pain. Survival instinct sets in, and you have a choice: either you fight to defend your honor, or curl up in the corner, hoping everything works itself out. Which ever path you take, you’re poisoning your relationship.
Too Little Pride: “I Ain’t Worth Shit”
By throwing your hands up in defeat and surrendering to your relationship all the time you’re giving up a valuable gem: a 50/50 say in your relationship.
You’re giving up yourself worth and you need that in your back pocket if you’re going to survive out there.
If you don’t give yourself any value, how do you expect others to? (The articles on this site relating to self esteem and self improvement will be moved to The Indie Chicks website fairly soon, so if you can’t find them here, go look there).
Too Much Pride: “I’m TOO Good for This”
Dating and relationships are about knowing when to pick your battles, and there are times that you’ll need to swallow your pride to make things better. If you can’t do that, you risk making your partner (or the person in question) feel like they’re dating a wall without emotion; a wall who thinks it’s superior, untouchable, and can do no wrong. You see, pride can easily be mistaken for cold heartedness and arrogance. And that’s not sexy.
That mindset of feeling superior stands in the way of self improvement and progress in your love life. Life is about making mistakes and becoming better and you can’t do that by not being able to admit your faults. So yeah, you’re going to end up sad and alone - wah.
Find the Balance and Stop Poisoning
The truth is simple: you need to know when to pick your battles. The problem is usually that you have too much of it and you’re unable to swallow it to make amends. Go back to a cheating spouse? I’ve got my PRIDE, I can’t. Admit I was wrong? I’ve got my PRIDE, I can’t. By doing that, you’re putting a brick wall on the path of your relationship.
Dating and relationships aren’t only designed for sexual pleasure and to fill that inexplicable void the human race has. They are meant to help you discover yourself and sometimes, that means having to admit you’re wrong and having to admit that giving someone a second chance doesn’t make you spineless.
I apologize for the brevity of this post… I promise to elaborate soon. The Indie Chicks launch yesterday was a HUGE success.. we had more traffic and positive feedback than we could have ever asked for. That said, I don’t want you to think I’m leaving you lovelies behind. I’m also getting to my emails today, I promise. Oh and… I am excited about redesigning the site… I learned SO much by designing The Indie Chicks that I am just super excited to get back at it!