Flirting. You know the moment you look up and make eye contact with a really, really cute boy? Time freezes and you feel your heart racing through every limb of your body. In that moment, your mind fills with fantasy; Do you see him without a shirt on? Passionately kissing you under a star filled sky? Picking you up and pinning you against the wall, fucking your brains out? No matter the path your mind takes, I’ve got a challenge for you: Stay right where you are. Stay in that moment in time. Don’t move. Get high.

Flirting- Don’t Fight Science

Ugh. I’m always talking about evolution – I’m sure you’re bored of it by now – but the topic warrants an evolutionary explanation. We flirt. We love to do it. We probably need to do it to survive. Just think about it. We are animals, yes, but we’re not like baboons; we don’t swell, pull out our vaginas and back our goods up to tempt a potential stud (or, do we?) The darn frontal cortex adds complexity to a simple display of interest. You feel good inside when you see something you want, so you’ll often flirt even if you’re not aware of it. Endorphins flow through you to get you happy, excited, vulnerable and available. Just like with love, chemicals dance inside you when you experience attraction. You can’t fight science, flirting feels good.

Flirting – Verbal vs. Physical/ Conscious vs. Unconscious

Remember that ex you slapped for flirting with the cute as a button waitress on your anniversary? He probably deserved it, yes, but there’s still a good chance he had no idea he was doing it. Believe it or not, there are so many dimensions of flirting that you really can’t always be held accountable for crossing one.

If you catch yourself doing it midway through.. ride it out. Enjoy the high.

Flirting doesn’t always have to translate into sex. A little flirt can pick your day up, no matter your marital status or the person you’re flirting with. If the Starbucks guy gives you a free coffee with a smile, smile back shyly and say thank you. It won’t make you a dirty whore. In fact, it might even help your relationship (if you’re in one). But that’s a whole other article.

But for the purpose of this one, let’s assume you’re single. So there you are, in that moment, staring at the cute boy who’s pushing you up against the wall, fucking your brains out. You can disappear into fantasy land and possibly have a little solo fun later that night making it your goal to make that fantasy a reality… or you can snap out of it, freeze time, bite your lip and get really, really flirty. 

Flirting – The High

Self Confidence

99.9% of the time you flirt, you’ll get a good reaction. Like I mentioned before, it’s in our nature to flirt; it’s a high. When you actually go balls out and get a response, holy moly, enjoy your delightful walk home because you will be on cloud 9. Flirting is an intimidating concept (people LOVED my video on the secret to successful flirting - pshh).. but seriously, the idea of approaching someone you’re attracted to is scary – never mind actually being on the offensive. But it’s like that one obstacle, when you overcome it… the victory brings forth a higher high than ecstasy and cocaine combined, no come down involved.

A Learning Experience

“Life is a really, really tall ladder and your goal is to climb it” – The Indie Chicks

Learning a lesson in life is always a pain in the ass. It’s either a broken heart, a broken bone, or a broken career. Much like that, you have to make mistakes in flirting to learn what works and what doesn’t. Remember that while you’re beating yourself up for buying a gay man a drink, you’ll be able to recognize the same man a month later and you won’t make the same mistake again. Freeze that moment of knowledge and absorb it; and go use your new found sense of self on someone else.

So if you do one thing when you see a cute guy, don’t let it be fucking him in your mind. Stand up, walk over, and flirt your little heart out because, sometimes, the building up to a hook up is hotter than the real deal. Value every minute of raw flirtation, just in case.

Do you get high? Let’s talk about the flirting rush!

Ps. The Indie Chicks launch tomorrow and we are so excited to show you what we’ve been working on for 3 months. I literally have not slept in weeks. Photoshop and web developed help sites and I have gotten really, really, close. Make sure you’ve liked us on Facebook to find out tomorrow’s time of launch!

OH! And I’ve got a cute little feature up at LAFamily. Go check it out and give it a like, I need to show the editor I’m worth the weekly column! :]

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