jealousy

Is My Ex Trying To Get Me Jealous?

jealousyI’m so sick of reading posts in love forums begging others to analyze the most irrelevant moments (ever). Just because you haven’t slept for a week doesn’t mean your readers will find the same sense of mystery in his actions.

So lets just do what we need to do here.. and stop you from harassing innocent people.

One of two things is going on……

Either you dumped your ex and he/she is doing everything in their power to make you suffer.. and to get you to realize how big of a mistake you made… OR... your ex dumped you and this is all in your head.. 

 

Situation A: You’re the Dumper

WHY? It’s important to remember that this is mostly done out of a bruised ego.If, for whatever reason, he feels he was unjustly dumped, he’ll feel the need to reestablish his value. Once your ex comes to his senses, he’ll realize that being dumped on stage at graduation doesn’t make for a good story to tell the grandkids. The problem with rejection is that its pain. And relationship denial always comes before the reality slap. (whether it’d be that he shagged your best friend, that he’s a lousy boyfriend or that the two of you just fell out of love)..

Or maybe he really is trying to make you jealous so you will go running back into his warm insecure embrace. But why would you do that…

If you dumped him the first time it was for a reason. I know, I’m a cold hearted bitch. I’m telling you to ignore the wasted effort and keep on the path you had decided to take. If he starts dating your coworker and begins attending every one of your weekly happy hours, he’s obviously trying to show you how well he’s doing. But if all of the sudden you feel drawn to him again, it’s probably because:

a) you feel the need to claim him (because lets face it: we’re territorial)

 

or

b) he looks a whole lot sexier with that new smile he’s sporting…

THIS FADES THE SECOND YOU’RE BACK TOGETHER

 

Situation B: You’ve been Dumped

I’m sorry I have to be the one to tell you… But he’s not trying to make you jealous. You’re now the psycho ex who over analyzes each comment -despite the fact he’s clearly dating someone else now. We tend to not realize this but when it comes to love, wishful thinking is almost always in the way. I once convinced myself that my ex boyfriend cheating on his new girlfriend with me meant that he was coming back.. [I also ignored the fact that every time he slept with me it was right after they had a fight]..

Or maybe he really is doing this stuff to spite you… (AND HE DUMPED YOU?!) Believe it or not, some people get a thrill out of causing others pain. He might think you’ve done something to deserve it. Or maybe he’s just sick. I know that when women behave this way it’s to make sure they still have an effect on that person. Nothing more of an ego bruiser to realize someone doesn’t give a shit about what you do…

The bottom line is: It’s unhealthy either way. You’re either fantasizing about something that will never happen or you’re continuing to have feelings for someone who gets off on the fact he still has power over you.

Anyone feel differently?

So there you go. Every post should be deleted in every single forum that asks this question.. because at the end of the day: it doesn’t fucking matter whether or not he’s trying to make you jealous, does it? The outcome is crap anyway! Do yourself a favor and move. on.
Anyone feel differently?

[[Note: This is a short introduction to an article I will be doing on Mixed Signals.]]

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  • Gabbymiah

    I idk how I feel because I dumped but I dumped this kid 4 times and he always begged to come back. It just so happened I use to treat him real bad in stuff so he cnt take it anyway I guess so he broke up with me. I was devastated I didn’t think he would be the one to break up with me because he always worship me in a way I guess. But he always kept in contract with me in told me he still love me but we never got back together. But when we return back to school he told my bestfriend that he want me back in stuff so I was haooy about that cause I was still in love with him. A couple of weeks after we start acting like a couple again in we start kissed in gym class then that weekend I sneak him over my house in my parents was there in brothers in they didn’t know but he slept over , in we did are usually oral sex, but then the next week he start acting different in I notice it like he really wasn’t wanting me anymore cause basically he got what he want in I knew that was going to happen but I was just so lonely. But then I find out by my step sister that he called me a BITCH, so when he tried to talk to me I told him I don’t want to talk to him anymore I was just sick to my stomach that he would have the ball to call me that, when I never disrespected him. But I see how much respect he had for me. But he txted me later on that day asking why I don’t want to talk to him anymore I n guess what he told me I wasn’t nothing but another number.. yea (crying) that’s the respect I get from a dude who took for ever to get with me but that’s another story. But for now on we don’t speak or every look at each other and I was glade getting over him cause I heared he start talking to my bestfriend sister bestfriend. In plus she was a nice girl, but now I hear he trying to talk to my another good friend , like wow! Like how big of a ass are you. That’s just sad idk if he trying to make me jealous but that’s just wrong in some manes especially aa girl who was there for are 7month relationship. Yea so that’s my life… still dealing with it, but im getting over him more in more each day. I deserve somebody better then that.

    • http://www.chiarasays.com Chiara Mazzucco

      You sure do! It’ll take some time but you’ll get over it and be stronger for it. Relationships at your age are exactly that: a game of back and forth, hurt and pleasure, jealousy and second, third and fourth chances. You’ll be just fine :)