Cheat3

Reason # 3 He’s Cheating on You… Right Now

Posted Jan 17 2012 by Chiara in  with 5 Comments

Men are cheating bastards. They’re arrogant, good for nothing, sons of bitches. They don’t appreciate what they have, they abuse it and then claim they still deserve to have it. There are many reasons men cheat so I’ve decided to write a series on the top 5. DO NOT start a fight with me until you’ve read all 5.

Reason # 3: The Thrill

Good news: You may have absolutely nothing to do with the fact your man is currently out banging his secretary. We all know there’s something ridiculously exciting about being naughty. The majority of us, however, are able to keep the thrill to our thoughts; fantasizing is enough to feed the hunger. And although we expect our partners to feed the urge for naughtiness within the confines of their fantasies as well, we’re usually wrong.

It’s like the time you stole the kit kat from the corner gas station.

You know you’re doing something wrong, you know you can get caught at any moment without warning, and most importantly, you know you can get off on the fact you’re getting away with it.

So instead of channeling this addiction for adrenaline toward sky diving and cage diving with sharks, your dude is exercising his right to the thrill by cheating on you.

Fix it Before it Happens

Let’s be honest here, I don’t think anyone would be able to give you a heads up about this. How are you supposed to know your your thrill seeker of a man would be one to take it to a stranger’s bed? And are you suddenly supposed to be suspicious if your boyfriend approaches you suggesting you sign up for sky diving classes?

What I can tell you is that you should keep an eye out for sudden drastic changes in behavior – especially ones that don’t include you. (There’s a whole section on spotting a cheater in my book).  If he’s a boring accountant who shows up at your door with a new neck tattoo and is suddenly bailing on you to go on tour with Motley Crue, you might want to speak up.

Sudden drastic changes indicate a need for thrill; a need for change. When he gets crazy enough to try to leave his boring account life behind, don’t expect a clear head if he’s approached by an attractive set of breasts. Shit happens.

In addition to just being more aware, consider adding a bit of thrill to your existing relationship – it might be enough to calm his hunger. Spice things up in the bedroom: add new locations, introduce props, and go buy some sexy outfits. Also, start suggesting some thrilling activities the two of you can do together. If he sees you’re in it too, he’s less likely to go rogue.

♥

Remember: The reasons in this series DO NOT justify, they merely explain. Also, there is an entire chapter in my book about dating a cheater. Read it. Stay tuned for the remaining 2 reasons your man is cheating.

Check out Reason 4 and Reason 5.

Don’t miss out! Support my work and BUY MY BOOK NOW!Learn about it here! And don’t forget to share this article and become a fan on Facebook!

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  • http://the-dame.com The Dame

    Woah Woah Woah Woah! Um, no. It is not my JOB to keep him interested in me. I do not have to add thrill to my relationship in the hopes it will be enough to keep him from cheating. That kind of thinking is warped. Im really disappointed that you think this way. If he is going to cheat, it has nothing to do with ME and there is no WORK that I can or must do to encourage him otherwise.

    I am already enough, gorgeous and awesome and worthwhile and if he decides one day that I am not enough for him, then he is more than welcome to go stick his dick elsewhere and never come back.

    • http://theindiechicks.com/ Chiara Mazzucco

      Just to clarify something here, you DID read that none of this actually justifies cheating, right? That none of this makes it OKAY that this happens, right? Just because most of this is fucked up doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. These articles are meant to give some insight in the POTENTIAL reason that SOME MEN cheat on SOME WOMEN.

      • http://the-dame.com The Dame

        Im not saying that I think you are justifying cheating, I understand that, my argument is against your supposition that its the woman’s fault if the man strays. Of course I know cheating happens, everybody does, but blaming it on anyone other than the cheater does not sit right with me and basically saying that “he cheated because you became crap” is sexist in my book and damaging to women.

        Perhaps you should make your last sentence in your reply very loud and clear on every point of this article because it really just reads as hugely offensive. And no, I’ve never been cheated on so thats not where Im coming from.

        • http://theindiechicks.com/ Chiara Mazzucco

          I totally understand where you’re coming from and looking back, seeing as how these articles were written a year ago and were meant to stir up a discussion, I absolutely should have made the point more clear. (And to be fair, hardly any of my articles include so many disclaimers – brutally honest was my branding) These top reasons were written after many conversations with my guy friends. NOT ONE justified cheating, it was just an explanation. Did it make them any less shit? No. When I say this does not justify cheating, it means it didn’t give him a right to cheat AND that she is not to be held accountable for his shit actions. As mentioned by another commenter on another reason, this is always a choice. His cheating is a choice, and so is ‘letting oneself go’. It doesn’t make cheating an okay consequence, but the addition of dating an asshole in the first place AND letting oneself go can EXPLAIN *but not justify* cheating. No matter how one spins it, relationships are built and maintained by 2 individuals.

          • http://the-dame.com The Dame

            Im blogging on this article tomorrow, its a discussion on the idea of “he’s cheating because you became crap” and not in anyway against you, I just wanted to let you know.