Someone’s Plan B
When the phone rings, you’re there to pick up and when a snuggle is requested, you’re there with open arms. But you’re not getting anywhere with your grand gestures and you’re definitely not getting laid. What the fuck is going on?
You’re someone’s back up pill in case they’re worried about getting pregnant. You are someone’s Plan B. Unsure? Let me help you identify:
Your Love Interest is Busy Bangin’ Someone Else:
You’re the go-to for love advice and even inappropriate, much needed, snuggle sessions. Text messages include winks and xoxo’s as well as things like, “Why can’t I just be with someone like you instead?” Flirtation is standard between the two of you yet the conversation always reverts back to your love interest’s actual relationship.
Your Love Interest Pulls a Little & Pushes A Lot:
Although they’re not ‘seeing’ anyone else, the two of you are stuck in the awkward limbo stage and you have no idea how to get out. You get a call to hang out when other plans fall through, snuggling never leads to sex and when it does, panties are back on before ejaculation is even complete. It takes several tries to even get a date in and when you do, it’s always half assed.
You are definitely someone’s Plan B.
In order to understand exactly how you’re being used, you need to put yourself in their shoes. Ask yourself what it is you provide them with that makes them feel the need to keep you wrapped around their finger.
If they’re seeing someone else, perhaps you are everything their boyfriend/girlfriend is not. If they feel unappreciated, you appreciate them. When they don’t feel attractive, you’re there -with googly eyes- to assure them that they are. You are like the coffee mate to their unsweetened coffee; you bring nothing new to the table because let’s face it, no one would sit and drink coffee mate alone.
If they’re not seeing anyone else, you’re just ‘meh’ to them. Like getting a coffee at a gas station while you wait for Starbucks to open up. See what I mean? Anyone will get the gas station coffee if they’re tired but they’ll be dreaming of Starbucks the entire time.
“I really like you.. I just.. I’m not ready for anything serious, you know? Just make sure you’re available whenever I need you..” It’s either that or something else. Either way, you’re going to hear the same bullshit. Excuses will be handed out like free condoms at a health clinic; by the time you get home, you’ll have more than you know what to do with. The goal is to keep you attached and the guilty party will do whatever it takes to keep you there… Even if it means having to say, “I really do have feelings for you, I’m just dating someone else.. and this is too confusing! But I don’t want to lose you!”
Enough is enough. Unless you get off on being a doormat, it’s time to get some of your dignity back. If you’re still reluctant to believe that you’re someone’s Plan B, ask; make the demand. If you’re fed another excuse, walk away. 9 times out of 10, that someone will make an effort to get you to come back. And this time, you’re going to decline. Because 9 times of 10, they’re not coming back because they’ve realized what they’ve lost… they’re coming back because “What if I get tired and Starbucks hasn’t opened yet!?”
They need YOU. But let me assure you, while you’re busy catering to someone else’s low self esteem, you’re missing out on all the candidates begging you to be their plan A.