What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger
I get a thousand emails about dating fails, relationship problems, and sexual hurdles. Yeah – they’re pretty standard. But the number one topic I get approached with is mending a broken heart. I’m pretty harsh when it comes to my break up advice, but that doesn’t mean I’m not sensitive to the pain; my past is not a clusterfuck of rainbows and butterflies, trust me.
That said, it’s time for a fucking pick me up.
I’m part of a huge group of very talented dating bloggers. In this group, I met a remarkable woman: The Sassy Divorcee. (Read her story). She’s someone I’m hungry to get to know better, but in the mean time.. she’ll remain the inspiration for this article. (Her Twitter is FULL of AMAZING tweets you need to read and retweet for the rest of the world) Her journey with a broken heart is far from over, but to start it off with style she packed her bags and took a little trip. (Video Above)
What you’re feeling.. right now
I know that right now, it feels like the end of the world. Breathing is hard and tomorrow doesn’t exist. You swear the tears will never stop coming. There’s a pain in the pit of your stomach that won’t go away. You’ve tried OTC medicine, vodka, valium, street drugs, random fucks, spells… You’ve tried going to sleep and never waking up. You’ve tried everything. Nothing makes the pain go away.
Right now, you’re sure NO one in the entire world has ever experienced this kind of pain. I’m here to tell you the opposite: everyone has.
To Get to the Other Side of the Rainbow, You Have to Climb it First
Friends and family can carve cliches into your flesh, you still won’t believe them. Know why? You’re not ready. You can’t heal until you’ve gone through the process. (I have an entire chapter on breaking up in my book).
So, without hashing out the details (because that’ll be a whole other article), let’s go through the basics.
You have to accept the world you’re in. Step out of the denial you’re probably bathing in, oh so comfortably. You’re relationship is over. From this moment on, everything will change; your life will be completely different. If you walked away from a shitty person, you did the right thing – no matter how badly your heart is aching. If the person you were with broke your heart, moving on is the best revenge. This is NOT someone you want to be with. The addiction to your past is a drug addiction you need to overcome. Recovery is right around the corner; You decide how long it’s going to take to get there.
You’re hurting. You need to accept that. Turn the phone off and the booty calls away. (You’ll be allowed a rebound – when you’re ready). Bathe in the pain. You’ll reach a point where your survival instinct will kick in and you’ll realize all those cliches carved in your flesh are true.
What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger. Period.
Breaking up always feels like it’s the end of the world – until it’s not. One day, and the day will come, you’ll wake up and realize this is your life. You make it what you want it to be. If you want to waste it in bed, giving yourself a pity party.. you can. But you know what’s better than that? Packing your bags and taking an impromptu trip to Peru. Climbing steps that seem to go on forever – and reaching the fucking top. Getting out of bed, doing your make up and stepping into the world with a shield – like a Spartan.
Because you’re stronger than you know. Love itself requires strength, and although you feel like you wasted it all on your relationship, you’ve actually got a nice reserve. You’re an animal, survival is a priority.
You may not be ready today – and that’s okay. But tomorrow, or the day after that, get out of bed and face the world. You’ll be sexy, rugged, with new battle wounds to show off to the ‘more fish in the sea’.
Want to know the best part of a broken heart? Not only do you heal stronger than you were before, but it’s the perfect kick in the ass that puts you where you need to be. Sassy ended up in Peru. What about you? The future holds thousands more tomorrows, waiting for you. Adventures, lovers, friends… self discovery.
Just when you thought you had yourself figured out.. Someone goes on a breaks your heart.. and unleashes a fucking beast.
Go live your life, tomorrow’s a new day. Come back swingin’ .. I dare you.
Did I miss anything? Let’s discuss!!